It is the complaint we hear most from expats: “I want to learn Dutch, but everyone just answers me in English.” You start a sentence, your accent gives you away, and the other person kindly switches. It is meant to be helpful, and it quietly stops you from ever practising. (If you are still asking yourself whether it is even worth it, see do expats actually need to learn Dutch to live in the Netherlands.)
Here is the thing. The Dutch and Flemish switch to English because it is faster and friendlier, not because your Dutch is bad. So your job is to make staying in Dutch the easy, friendly option. These habits do exactly that.
Why they switch: it is a reflex, not a review
The reframe that changes everything comes from Leiden University, whose researchers argue the Dutch should stop “politely” switching to English: hearing a foreign accent triggers a comfort reflex, a subconscious move to reduce tension and include you, like holding a door open. Many people also simply want to practise their English. The painful irony the Leiden work highlights is that learners experience this inclusion as exclusion. Once you know it is a reflex and not a judgment, the sting goes, and that alone makes it easier to persist. The practical corollary is that how you open matters more than how well you speak: a mumbled, apologetic opener invites the switch, a crisp one makes it awkward to make.
| Dutch | English |
|---|---|
| Mogen we Nederlands praten? Ik wil graag oefenen. | Can we speak Dutch? I would like to practise. |
| Kun je dat langzamer zeggen? | Can you say that more slowly? |
| In het Nederlands, graag. | In Dutch, please. |
| Hoe zeg je dat in het Nederlands? | How do you say that in Dutch? |
A friendly mogen we Nederlands praten? Ik wil graag oefenen almost always works; most people happily oblige once they know you want the practice.
Start in Dutch before they can switch
Whoever opens the conversation sets the language. If you walk up and say “Hi, do you have…”, you have already chosen English. If you open with a simple Dutch greeting and your request, most people stay in Dutch with you.
You do not need a long sentence. “Hoi, mag ik een koffie?” is enough to set the tone. Lead with Dutch, even if the rest wobbles.
Learn the phrases that buy you time
The reason people switch to English is usually a pause. You hesitate, they jump in to help. A few small phrases fill that pause and keep you in Dutch:
- “Kunt u dat herhalen?” (Could you repeat that?)
- “Een momentje.” (One moment.)
- “Hoe zeg je dat?” (How do you say that?)
- “Sorry, mijn Nederlands is nog niet zo goed, maar ik oefen.” (Sorry, my Dutch is not great yet, but I am practising.)
That last one is the magic phrase. It tells people you want to keep going in Dutch, and most will happily slow down for you. We go deeper on building this kind of starter kit in the realistic guide to learning Dutch as an expat.
Practise in low-stakes moments
You do not need a language partner to practise. You need small, safe moments where a wobble costs nothing:
- The bakery, the supermarket checkout, the market stall
- Ordering coffee or asking where something is
- A quick “dankjewel” and “fijne dag” on the way out
These are perfect because the script is short and predictable. You can prepare the three phrases you need and use them on autopilot until they feel natural. Once the café feels easy, move to the next situation. The city-specific set in Dutch phrases for Amsterdam expats is a good place to pull from.
Read before you translate
Practice is not only speaking. Every day you are surrounded by Dutch: tram signs, supermarket labels, the subject line of an email, a sign on a shop door. Make a habit of reading it and guessing the meaning before you reach for the translation.
This is free, constant exposure, and it trains the most useful skill of all: understanding what is happening around you. After a few weeks you will catch words on the train and in shops without thinking, and that alone makes you feel far less like a tourist.
Reply to one Dutch message a day
If you get Dutch WhatsApp messages from a landlord, a delivery service, or a group chat, do not auto-translate and reply in English. Read it slowly, and answer in one short Dutch sentence. It can be clumsy. “Ja, dat is goed, dankjewel” is a complete, correct reply to a lot of messages.
One message a day is tiny, but it is real writing practice in exactly the Dutch you need, which is far more useful than textbook exercises.
Accept slow over silent
The biggest mental shift is this: a slow, imperfect Dutch sentence is a win. A perfect English one is a missed rep. Most expats stay silent because they are waiting to be good enough. You get good by being slow and wrong in public for a while first.
People here are patient with someone who is clearly trying. The accent does not matter. The effort does, and it almost always earns you a warmer response than English would.
Make it a five-minute habit
None of this works if it depends on willpower or long study blocks. Tie it to something you already do. Learn one small situation in the morning, use it during the day, and let real life be the practice. Short and daily beats long and rare, every time.
This is the whole idea behind Learn Dutch For Expats, an iOS app in early access: five-minute lessons built around the exact moments where you would normally switch to English, so the next time it happens, you have the words ready. And if you are still deciding whether a general app is enough, read Duolingo versus real-life Dutch before you commit your evenings to streaks.
Where it connects
The city you live in changes how hard this is: outside the Randstad there is less English and faster progress, and inside it there is The Hague expat bubble. The phrase that keeps a conversation in Dutch is in the everyday set, and no app solves it for you: why gamified apps fail.
Frequently asked questions
Why do Dutch people switch to English when I speak Dutch?
It is a comfort reflex, not a judgment. Researchers at Leiden University describe it as a subconscious attempt to be inclusive and smooth the interaction the moment an accent is heard; many people also enjoy practising their English. Learners experience it as exclusion, which is why it demoralises. Knowing it is a reflex makes it easier to hold the line.
How do I get Dutch people to keep speaking Dutch with me?
Open with a clear, confident first sentence rather than an apology, because hesitation is what triggers the switch. If they switch anyway, simply reply in Dutch. Ask for help in Dutch instead of taking the English exit: ‘kun je dat langzamer zeggen?’ or ‘hoe zeg je dat in het Nederlands?’. And say it outright when you can: ‘mogen we Nederlands praten? Ik wil graag oefenen.’ Most people are glad to.
