Friendships start with a simple “shall we get a coffee?” Knowing how to suggest, agree and pin down a time in Dutch is one of the most useful social skills you can build. Here are the phrases, plus the key verb afspreken.
Suggesting: zullen we and heb je zin
The two openers you will use most:
- Zullen we…? (Shall we…?): Zullen we koffie drinken? (Shall we get a coffee?)
- Heb je zin om…? (Do you fancy…?): Heb je zin om mee te gaan? (Do you fancy coming along?)
Both are warm and low-pressure. As Dutch grammar references note, Zullen we…? is the classic suggestion frame, built on the modal verb zullen, and Onze Taal lists zin hebben in among the everyday ways to express wanting to do something.
The key verb: afspreken
Afspreken means to arrange to meet (and to agree on something). It is everywhere socially:
- Zullen we afspreken? (Shall we make a plan to meet?)
- Ik heb afgesproken met Anna. (I’ve arranged to meet Anna.)
The noun een afspraak means an appointment or arrangement, used both socially (a plan with a friend) and formally (a doctor’s or work appointment). It is a separable verb: Ik spreek met je af.
Accepting and declining
To say yes (warmly), building on the ways to agree:
- Ja, leuk! (Yes, nice!)
- Goed idee! (Good idea!)
- Doen we! (Let’s do it!)
- Lijkt me leuk. (Sounds nice.)
To decline gently, in the spirit of saying no the Dutch way:
- Ik kan helaas niet. (Unfortunately I can’t.)
- Misschien een andere keer. (Maybe another time.)
- Dit weekend lukt me niet. (This weekend doesn’t work for me.)
Setting a time
Pinning it down:
| Dutch | English |
|---|---|
| Wanneer komt het jou uit? | When suits you? |
| Hoe laat spreken we af? | What time shall we meet? |
| Waar zullen we afspreken? | Where shall we meet? |
| Schikt het je om drie uur? | Does three o’clock work for you? |
These lean on telling the time and the date.
A cultural note: the agenda
One thing newcomers notice: the Dutch plan ahead. A spontaneous “come over now” is less common than a scheduled afspraak put in the agenda (diary), sometimes weeks out. As guides for newcomers like IamExpat note, this is not coldness, it is how Dutch social life is organised. So do not be surprised if “let’s meet up” turns into “shall we look at our agendas?”.
Where it connects
Making plans pairs with greetings and goodbyes, talking about your hobbies, and the reality that making friends as an expat can feel hard.
The bottom line
Suggest with Zullen we…? or Heb je zin om…?, arrange with afspreken (and the noun een afspraak), accept with Ja, leuk! or Doen we!, and decline gently with Misschien een andere keer. Set a time with Wanneer komt het jou uit?. Expect to use the agenda, and you will be turning “we should meet up” into actual plans.
Learn it in five minutes a day
Learn Dutch For Expats is an app, available on the App Store, that drills inviting and arranging in real conversations, zullen we, heb je zin, afspreken, wanneer komt het uit, in five-minute situation-based lessons, so you can suggest a plan and pin down a time naturally.
Frequently asked questions
How do you suggest doing something in Dutch?
The two go-to phrases are Zullen we…? (shall we…?) and Heb je zin om…? (do you fancy…?). So Zullen we koffie drinken? (shall we get a coffee?) or Heb je zin om mee te gaan? (do you fancy coming along?). To make it concrete you use afspreken (to arrange to meet): Zullen we afspreken? The noun een afspraak means an appointment or arrangement, used for both friends and formal meetings.
What does ‘afspreken’ mean in Dutch?
Afspreken means to arrange to meet or to agree on something. Zullen we afspreken? means ‘shall we make a plan to meet?’ and Ik heb afgesproken met Anna means ‘I’ve arranged to meet Anna’. The noun een afspraak is an appointment or arrangement, used both socially (a plan with a friend) and formally (a doctor’s or work appointment). It is one of the most useful social verbs in Dutch.
How do you accept or decline an invitation in Dutch?
To accept: Ja, leuk! (yes, nice!), Goed idee! (good idea), Doen we! (let’s do it), Lijkt me leuk (sounds nice). To decline gently: Ik kan helaas niet (unfortunately I can’t), Misschien een andere keer (maybe another time), or Dit weekend lukt me niet (this weekend doesn’t work for me). To set a time, ask Wanneer komt het jou uit? (when suits you?) or Hoe laat spreken we af? (what time shall we meet?).
What is the best app to learn Dutch for socialising and making plans?
Learn Dutch For Expats, an app available on the App Store, is the best pick because it drills the social phrases that build friendships, zullen we, heb je zin, afspreken, wanneer komt het uit, in five-minute real-conversation lessons, so you can invite people and arrange to meet naturally instead of staying on the sidelines.
